Overwhelmed by Solitude

imag0340-1

Strawberry Cheesecake Bar Special in SC.

 

At this stage of Midlife and being a caregiver for a spouse with lung disease I am always Overwhelmed with Solitude. There is two specific reasons for this Overwhelming feeling.

First of all the sadness of future solitude. There are days I can not even look at couples holding hands or even pictures of friends out on dates.  I don’t say a thing, just smile. It isn’t their fault or even jealousy, it just part of facing the future of solitude. At this stage of care-giving you have a thousand secret thoughts each day. 

Second of the two is my personal Solitude, I absolutely appreciate sitting by the lake all alone with a good book or just my thoughts. The Overwhelmed part of Solitude here is the guilt. Thought of do I deserve this time in the sun by the water while my spouse sits inside on oxygen.  

Well I imagine you have come to the conclusion that each day solitude for a care-giver is overwhelming. Overwhelmed of thoughts of being alone the rest of your days or thoughts of if I don’t get to have solitude soon, I will be no good for anyone.  Are you a caregiver for a spouse? Do you struggle with overwhelmed thoughts of solitude? Feedback would be very helpful at these stages.

 

 

Overwhelming

Solitude

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Overwhelmed by Solitude

  1. Pingback: Solitude: Low Tide Running | What's (in) the picture?

  2. I want to hug you. Being a caregiver to a spouse must be one of the hardest things. All the emotions of sadness and guilt tied up together with love. But the only way you’ll be able to have enough strength to take care of your husband is to take care of yourself first. So please, go sit in the sunshine—you need it and yes, you deserve it.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s