Category Archives: Life, Care-giving,

Emotions By The Water


Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash 

Imagine for a moment your sitting on a blanket in front of the ocean and not only are you sitting on the blanket alone, but there is no person waiting for your return to your resort room.  

Those of you who are single are thinking ” no big deal I live my life like that daily” and I honestly believe you have personal emotions about those decisions. Today though I ask you to step into the emotions of a widow or a possible soon to be widow.  Emotion>  a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body 

Emotion. (n.d.). Retrieved February 7, 2018, from 

For the widow or maybe even the widower the emotions start way before they are alone on that blanket. As Caregivers of the spouse leaving  you behind the daily struggle with emotions go on and on. Emotions such as Anger, Annoyance, Abandoned, Bored, Cheerful, Trapped, Overwhelmed. 


Photo by on Unsplash

I am not speaking for every widow or widower; everyone deals with this path

in life in their own ways. 

Waking up in the morning with your spouse still breathing usually causes a emotion of cheerfulness. This Odd happiness is just because you will not be alone as of this morning. If your really lucky you are able to rise first and get your thoughts together before the Caregiving begins. This emotion can and usually does lead right into annoyance if they wake up demanding or even needy. Annoyed because this person was once strong and independent and now at times you feel like a servant.

Whoever thought you would feel like a servant to this person you laid beside for years. At times that annoyance quickly turns into anger. Anger can be a dangerous emotion to face alone. I say alone because some people will not understand if you share your annoyance or your anger so you keep these emotions berried inside. You never want to end the day with regrets of what you said to the person that may or may not be breathing tomorrow.

There are days though that the caregiver faces other emotions such as being Bored, Trapped and Overwhelmed. Being bored can be solved by simply taking a nap or watching a movie, but the emotion of feeling trapped and overwhelmed causes another emotion which is guilt. If the sun is brightly shining, you really just want to leave this person inside and run away but then you get overwhelmed and feel guilty because you think about all the ways they will not be breathing when you are done running. In my case COPD causes bad cough attacks for hubby and he at times has passed out. Just the thought of knowing that could happen causes overwhelming thoughts of what others will think if you left him alone.   After all the emotions have risen and subsided by the end of the day, after the home is quiet the emotion of Abandonment sneaks around. You are left watching a movie alone or cleaning up the daily messes you could not accomplish while assisting another person to successfully live another day.   

In conclusion let me review that a caregiver faces several emotions alone daily, such as Anger, Annoyance, Abandoned, Bored, Cheerful, Trapped and Overwhelmed.  Then a day comes when they are faced with sitting on a blanket alone with no one waiting for them in the resort room ; Having Emotions by the Water. 

If you are a caregiver, God Bless you on your journey.








Bridges of Life

A bridge forms a connection between two things. Age can be represented as bridges in our lifetime.  Certain ages connect who we are to whom we will become.          

Steven Minardi ( photographer ) 

In a lifetime if you are giving the blessing of living past your sixties.  ( I lost my father when he was 62) you most certainly have crossed quite a few bridges. 

  • Age 13 moves you from childhood to teenage years

  • Age 18 moves you from teenage to adulthood years

  • Age 40 moves you onto a path they call midlife years

  • Age 50-60 moves you onto a path of retirement years

Age can be represented as bridges in our lifetime. A bridge forms a connection between two things. Aww the teenage years, for my generation and above that meant a little more responsibility. A time to still have a little youthful fun and show your parents the beginnings of being an adult. Then you close your eyes and the bridge changes to adulthood. Adulthood for some it meant college, for some it means serving our country and possibly seeing war time. For others myself included it meant raising the next generation also known as your parents grandchildren.

Then you blink your eyes and the big forty arrives.  This bridge is a lot bigger to some than that bridge from childhood to adulthood. This bridge is where you begin to look back on past bridges and begin to attempt to figure out just who you are and what you have become. Are you happy with the answers or how do you improve yourself. Remember no one can change anyone except for themselves.  

Then all of a sudden you awaken from a nap and your on a bridge for fifties and above, the very bridge your parents once crossed. Your now the grandparents, your the one talking about retirement or worse yet allowing some wrong lifetime decisions send you straight to the Dr. for unwanted news. Are you prepared to cross this bridge? Will you stop and repair the pieces? I sure hope so.

In conclusion a bridge connects two things and Age is our way of moving from bridge to bridge through our lifetime. Enjoy whatever age you are, and hold your head high if your currently crossing a bridge. 

Words for Winter by fellow blogger

STANDING IN THE SNOW It’s falling from the sky, It’s cold coming down, Raining upon me, I don’t make a sound. I’m here alone under the Winter night sky, Around me a white blanket, no warmth does it give. No leaves have my branches, naked in the wind, I’ve stood for many seasons, this is […]

via STANDING IN THE SNOW — keithgarrettpoetry

A Cold Walk in January

Happy 2018!!!

What a winter we are facing!!!! Cold may not even explain the way it feels outside.

Yesterday morning, It finally hit in the 60’s and I escaped to the beach for a short walk. It was chilly and windy but what a Beautiful site to see on the lake.  I wanted to spend much more time watching and exploring but expecting bad weather to return chased me quickly back to my vehicle. Shortly after this walk, and returning home from taking my daughter home. The temperature began to drop and low and behold this morning it was a 47 degree drop. Woke up to 15 degrees.   

Let me know how your winter is going? Have you found a day to escape?




Being A Relict

The word Relict is a mid-15th Century Old French word for “Widow”. 
1. Is there a right age to be a relict?

2. Did you take the vow,“to death do us part serious?”

 3. Companionship; yes or no? How soon? 

Is there a right age to be a relict? 

Well I assume any widow left behind will say no, although most are in their 60’s or 70’s by the time this season comes along. My Mom had just turned 60 years old when that season happened to her 42 year marriage. That was almost 12 years ago now. I see groups of widows in restaurants at times and they seem as if their doing well. If you talk to one alone she usually says staying busy helps. I myself  only 50 years old at this time gets very angry at the thought of NOT enjoying retirement and facing these thoughts of being left behind! 

Did you take the vow, ” to death do us part ” serious?

I was a very young bride and although I took all of my vows seriously, way back then I gave no thought to the vow, ” to death do us part ” when your young I guess you don’t think about your spouse passing away. Most people my age are on second and third marriage. At times I am not sure why we are still together. 

What about you the reader? Where do you stand on these thoughts?

Companionship; yes or no? How soon?

Honestly I have not decided my answers. I have met several type of people the past couple years. Yet not sure how I feel about this situations. 

Please share some thoughts or experience!

Have you entered the season of being a widow?

Let’s review……

1. Is there a right time to be a Relict?

2. Did you take the vow “to death do us part” serious ?

3. Companionship; yes or no? How soon?

Abilities and Faith


November 8, 2017

Thankfulness continued; I am thankful for the ability to read and write. I love reading just about anything, it goes with learning on a daily basis. I love expressing myself in writing or sometimes in music. The past year of becoming a blogger has been a dream and next year I will attempt to write for money. I have several short stories hid away from college days.  2018 hopefully will shine a new light on writing.

I’m also thankful for living in a country I can express and share my faith without pressuring anyone to see or do things my way. I may never know how my faith or prayers helped someone in life, but I’m thankful I’m brave enough to approach them with examples anyway. 


  ” As Christmas approached, the usual mysteries began to haunt the house”…..

Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Being Alive 


Turning 50 this year, was exciting and although I didn’t walk across the stage and receive the long awaited degree I’ve been fighting to get completed for years, I have a lot to be thankful about anyway.

Here’s a small list:

1. Being Alive to see 50

2. My mom is still here, although dad is missed

3. My spouse is still here although retirement sucks because of illness

4. We have great kids and an adorable grandson

5. We have wonderful friends, some old and some new. 

Being Alive at the age of 50, is great and although this Caregiver position leads me towards  being a Widow, I’m thankful for the time spent caring for loved ones.