Category Archives: Passion

Emotions By The Water


Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash 

Imagine for a moment your sitting on a blanket in front of the ocean and not only are you sitting on the blanket alone, but there is no person waiting for your return to your resort room.  

Those of you who are single are thinking ” no big deal I live my life like that daily” and I honestly believe you have personal emotions about those decisions. Today though I ask you to step into the emotions of a widow or a possible soon to be widow.  Emotion>  a conscious mental reaction (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body 

Emotion. (n.d.). Retrieved February 7, 2018, from 

For the widow or maybe even the widower the emotions start way before they are alone on that blanket. As Caregivers of the spouse leaving  you behind the daily struggle with emotions go on and on. Emotions such as Anger, Annoyance, Abandoned, Bored, Cheerful, Trapped, Overwhelmed. 


Photo by on Unsplash

I am not speaking for every widow or widower; everyone deals with this path

in life in their own ways. 

Waking up in the morning with your spouse still breathing usually causes a emotion of cheerfulness. This Odd happiness is just because you will not be alone as of this morning. If your really lucky you are able to rise first and get your thoughts together before the Caregiving begins. This emotion can and usually does lead right into annoyance if they wake up demanding or even needy. Annoyed because this person was once strong and independent and now at times you feel like a servant.

Whoever thought you would feel like a servant to this person you laid beside for years. At times that annoyance quickly turns into anger. Anger can be a dangerous emotion to face alone. I say alone because some people will not understand if you share your annoyance or your anger so you keep these emotions berried inside. You never want to end the day with regrets of what you said to the person that may or may not be breathing tomorrow.

There are days though that the caregiver faces other emotions such as being Bored, Trapped and Overwhelmed. Being bored can be solved by simply taking a nap or watching a movie, but the emotion of feeling trapped and overwhelmed causes another emotion which is guilt. If the sun is brightly shining, you really just want to leave this person inside and run away but then you get overwhelmed and feel guilty because you think about all the ways they will not be breathing when you are done running. In my case COPD causes bad cough attacks for hubby and he at times has passed out. Just the thought of knowing that could happen causes overwhelming thoughts of what others will think if you left him alone.   After all the emotions have risen and subsided by the end of the day, after the home is quiet the emotion of Abandonment sneaks around. You are left watching a movie alone or cleaning up the daily messes you could not accomplish while assisting another person to successfully live another day.   

In conclusion let me review that a caregiver faces several emotions alone daily, such as Anger, Annoyance, Abandoned, Bored, Cheerful, Trapped and Overwhelmed.  Then a day comes when they are faced with sitting on a blanket alone with no one waiting for them in the resort room ; Having Emotions by the Water. 

If you are a caregiver, God Bless you on your journey.








Abilities and Faith


November 8, 2017

Thankfulness continued; I am thankful for the ability to read and write. I love reading just about anything, it goes with learning on a daily basis. I love expressing myself in writing or sometimes in music. The past year of becoming a blogger has been a dream and next year I will attempt to write for money. I have several short stories hid away from college days.  2018 hopefully will shine a new light on writing.

I’m also thankful for living in a country I can express and share my faith without pressuring anyone to see or do things my way. I may never know how my faith or prayers helped someone in life, but I’m thankful I’m brave enough to approach them with examples anyway. 


  ” As Christmas approached, the usual mysteries began to haunt the house”…..

Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Being Alive 


Turning 50 this year, was exciting and although I didn’t walk across the stage and receive the long awaited degree I’ve been fighting to get completed for years, I have a lot to be thankful about anyway.

Here’s a small list:

1. Being Alive to see 50

2. My mom is still here, although dad is missed

3. My spouse is still here although retirement sucks because of illness

4. We have great kids and an adorable grandson

5. We have wonderful friends, some old and some new. 

Being Alive at the age of 50, is great and although this Caregiver position leads me towards  being a Widow, I’m thankful for the time spent caring for loved ones.

November A month of Thankfulness


November is a month of Thankfulness. Also begins a crazy business that overwhelms some people more than others.  

As a Caregiver and an active woman, I have a ton of things to be Thankful for at my age. I hope I can share some and hear from my followers also. 

Happy November 🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍂🍂🍂🍂

Waiting on Answers

Bird landed on each sign I walked past

#365daysofwriting #discoverwp #waiting #caregiver

The life of a caregiver can be isolating to say the least. You want to stay positive and wear a smile, because folks don’t want to know the true thoughts that run through your mind on the bad days.

Imagine for a moment your walking next to me by the lake where I sometimes get to go for prayer and answers.  You notice after those prayers that a bird follows the path ahead of you by landing on each sign. Well it happened just that way and all I could wonder is how quirky it was to tell someone you felt a Bird was Waiting for you. 


Falling for Fall




Falling for Fall isn’t that a catching thought? Most people may not think about falling for a season, but I have for many years. As I gaze out the window by my desk or sneak away to the lake I see a burst of my favorite colors everywhere. If you enter my home which is now a Cozy Condo in October you will see those colors everywhere, including deer, and foxes and such scattered among my decorations.  Falling for Fall includes sitting by warm fireplaces, wearing hoodies and preparing baked goods. 

please share in the comments which season you Fall for and maybe why? I look forward to the different reasons! 



Mom’s still here!

Midlife brings so many thoughts to a person’s life. My mom spent the weekend with us and she turned 71 years old. 

I’m sure y’all have a parent who has turned that age also, although if you were sitting beside me in this Cozy Condo

I would explain that she was not even supposed to see 1 of her grandchildren but has held all five of them and all 4 of her great-grandchildren; even my grand-daughter who is in Heaven.

I would attempt to tell you while holding back tears that when I was a mere 12 years old she had a ten hour surgery to remove a brain aneurism from center of her brain. She had 50/50 chance of survival and has out lived by father by 11 years now.  I can not return to my childhood home due to it now being boarded up. I can recall the person she was before the surgery and the person she has become these days.