Midlife without a summer

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As she sits alone on the bank with fishing rod in hand her mind drifts back to the summer’s spent packing up the pick-up truck and boat for a few days of escape. 

Escape meant the strong man she is a caregiver for now (caregiver-of-a-strong-man) was able to clear his mind of un-shared troubles that life through his way each day. Also she could clear her mind and reorganize the changes she may need to accomplish.  During the two hour drive down to the Escape they would debate over his classic rock and her country music. 

Upon arrival to the cabin; his number one thing to do was make the room cold enough she would need an Eskimo coat to survive the stay.  Although her number one thing to do was to set up the kitchen; her mind raced of ways to get him on the boat tonight before dark. 

Stay tuned to see if she gets them underway and which seat is her favorite.

Is Hospitality a thing of the past?

Word of the day posts

 Hospitality

 

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Grandma’s Christmas Fudge

Is Hospitality a thing of the past? I imagine if you are in your midlife years you have wondered this question once or twice.   I can not give precise answers just an opinion based on the younger generations I deal with day to day and year to year.

 

Based on most of them My honest opinion is that they are loosing that part of what other generations have considered Hospitality. I ask again is hospitality a thing of the past?

Do you remember coming to Grandma’s for Christmas and snatching some Christmas Fudge off dessert tables? imag0184Do you remember Sunday Family Dinners with Fried Chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn on the cob and of course biscuits? That is hospitality to someone in my generation.  

Today’s younger generation’s say there is no time for home cooking and house cleaning. Life is to fast pace and full of gadgets.  A reminder this is just one person’s opinion but as a Mom and A Grandma…I enjoy my visits better if I feel welcomed and the place is full of warmth and hospitality.

So do you think Hospitality is a thing of the Past?

 

 

 

The Acceptance of a week through music.



The weekend had arrived once again. As a couple they just needed to tell the world goodbye and headed down south. Saturday morning arrived and it was time to back the hitch up into the water, untie all the cable and rope. Step until the AstroTurf get a coozie lets go kind of day. They accepted it would be a fine day.


Arriving back to shore and loading up there was an uneasy feeling hoovering over, she instinctively knew something wasn’t quite right. In the room he was quiet, almost a distant quiet and dozing in his chair. THAT evening he caught a chill. A chill that even the blankets would not be able to assist with solving. 

Sunday morning they headed on the road again towards home, the distant quiet and uneasy feeling following right along. Tuesday came and they were on the road again, this time going places they’ve never been. Seeing things they’ve never seen and this continued for her for seven days straight.

Seven days not a soul knew of her travels or that she was thinking it’s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man. You’ll have good times and he’ll have bad times but you stand by your man. 

She would return home each evening thinking HELLO Walls,how’d things go for you today? Don’t you miss him? Since he UP and slipped away. After dinner and nightly routine she would be accepting the feeling of HELLO Darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again. As she drifted in and out of sleep through each LONG night. 



Acceptance

Overwhelmed by Solitude

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Strawberry Cheesecake Bar Special in SC.

 

At this stage of Midlife and being a caregiver for a spouse with lung disease I am always Overwhelmed with Solitude. There is two specific reasons for this Overwhelming feeling.

First of all the sadness of future solitude. There are days I can not even look at couples holding hands or even pictures of friends out on dates.  I don’t say a thing, just smile. It isn’t their fault or even jealousy, it just part of facing the future of solitude. At this stage of care-giving you have a thousand secret thoughts each day. 

Second of the two is my personal Solitude, I absolutely appreciate sitting by the lake all alone with a good book or just my thoughts. The Overwhelmed part of Solitude here is the guilt. Thought of do I deserve this time in the sun by the water while my spouse sits inside on oxygen.  

Well I imagine you have come to the conclusion that each day solitude for a care-giver is overwhelming. Overwhelmed of thoughts of being alone the rest of your days or thoughts of if I don’t get to have solitude soon, I will be no good for anyone.  Are you a caregiver for a spouse? Do you struggle with overwhelmed thoughts of solitude? Feedback would be very helpful at these stages.

 

 

Overwhelming

Solitude

The Man in the Chair

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The chair was purchased while the strong man mentioned in previous blog post below spent a week in the hospital this past summer. This care-giver thinks about that each time she looks up from her morning cup of tea, while he is still asleep in the next room.

She recalls calling him about it from the store and him stating he could not see spending the money on himself. I assured him he deserved such a luxury and purchased it, assembled it and had it waiting for his return. I know your sitting there laughing at the fact I said a chair was a luxury. Well men Strong as Glass really focus on working and paying bills…not so much on what will help him be comfortable.

This midlife care-giver admits looking at this chair in the future will cause two very different feelings. First one when the lungs of this Man as Strong as Glass stops fighting to live, and the chair sits there empty it will leave emptiness in her mind and soul. Yet she will also be able to look at that chair as a symbol of no regrets of being a life time nurturer and care-giver.

God Bless All the Care-givers out there, support one another.

Half Century Old

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Imagine cold wintry night, snow is falling outside,the wind is brisk and whistling. Coyotes are howling in the distance. While inside a woman settles down for the night. A comfy chair in front of a roaring fire. As she stares into the roaring fire it comes to her mind, She is about to turn an age people refer to as being a half century oldHalf a century old means she has lived half of her life,wondering  what the other half has in store. 

As she sits and stares into that fire with thoughts of becoming a half century old. He is across the room admiring how she still looks amazing. She has taken care of herself. He does not see the thoughts clouding her mind. In her mind she sees herself as a old women. Old women turn a half century old is the thought clouding her mind. Old women do not get stared at from across the room as she catches his view from the side of her eyes. Is he seeing her thoughts and afraid to approach a women a half century old or is he waiting patiently for her to approach as she has done in the past? The silence lingers in the room warmth by the fire as they retire for the evening.  

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