The Acceptance of a week through music.



The weekend had arrived once again. As a couple they just needed to tell the world goodbye and headed down south. Saturday morning arrived and it was time to back the hitch up into the water, untie all the cable and rope. Step until the AstroTurf get a coozie lets go kind of day. They accepted it would be a fine day.


Arriving back to shore and loading up there was an uneasy feeling hoovering over, she instinctively knew something wasn’t quite right. In the room he was quiet, almost a distant quiet and dozing in his chair. THAT evening he caught a chill. A chill that even the blankets would not be able to assist with solving. 

Sunday morning they headed on the road again towards home, the distant quiet and uneasy feeling following right along. Tuesday came and they were on the road again, this time going places they’ve never been. Seeing things they’ve never seen and this continued for her for seven days straight.

Seven days not a soul knew of her travels or that she was thinking it’s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man. You’ll have good times and he’ll have bad times but you stand by your man. 

She would return home each evening thinking HELLO Walls,how’d things go for you today? Don’t you miss him? Since he UP and slipped away. After dinner and nightly routine she would be accepting the feeling of HELLO Darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again. As she drifted in and out of sleep through each LONG night. 



Acceptance

Life is to short for Meaningless Things



There is an old saying, ” life is to short for________.”   Well this could cover a multitude of things, I would like to express my opinion on four things this woman views as meaningless waste of time. This is OF course just one woman’s view. I apologize right up front if this post offends your point of view. These four things consist of: Gossip, Horoscopes, Reality Shows and the drama of social networking.

Gossip we are warned in the Bible to stay away from people who gossip and guard our words when we speak. Even if you do not believe in or read the Bible these are wise words. Why would you want to spread things you know nothing about; about a neighbor OR worse have someone do the same thing about you. This in my opinion includes gossip magazines…why spend hard earned money to read something about a person you actually know nothing about?

Horoscopes, I personally don’t even read them, again rather your a believer in God or not you and no one else are able to predict the future. Each person has a uniqueness about them and some days the choices you make affect the outcome. Again this is my opinion of meaningless things life is to short to worry over.

Reality Shows, first of all there are too many of these drama filled shows that keeps people on the couch each and every day. Whatever happened to living real life? Playing and laughing with kids and grandchildren. We all complain about taking a vacation from the job or AT least getting home for the weekend then we give our time to other people’s drama.

Last but not least is social networking. How do you use it these days compared to when you first signed up? I used to use it very rarely..actually people use to say I needed to post more. Now I use it for corresponding with blogs and my followers. I have met interesting people over past year through my blog but as soon as swimming and fishing and outdoor activities begin I can go days without even thinking about the drama on social networking. I have a phone and if it’s important it will ring. 

In conclusion these are just one woman’s opinions about meaningless things that life is to short to worry over. Feedback is always welcome, please respect I am an individual with opinions just as I will return the same respect to you.
Speak Out

Meaningless

All Grown Up

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When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

This question is not an easy one to attempt for myself; I have had grown up responsibilities since the age of 12. (Yet never felt like one)Yes your seeing that number correctly. Allow me to explain. My mother who is now 70 had a brain aneurysm when I was 12. After 10 hour surgery and 50/50 chance on the table; she has proudly overcome so much in life. During her recovery time though, Dad and I ( being the oldest) had to reteach her basic writing, and functioning skills. Being oldest brought on a number of grown up responsibility. Cleaning, Cooking, Caring for siblings.

A short 5 years later I met and married my husband of 32 years. I married the boy next door but not the one I grew up with; I married his best friend. Our first date was due to a dare. They lost he never gave them a second chance to ask. Two years after marriage our first child came along and four years later our second one arrived. You guessed it, More Cleaning, Cooking and Caring for my own children. Are you seeing a pattern? 

Now at Midlife I am the full-time Caregiver of my Spouse. He has COPD/EMPHYSEMA. This is a 24/7 job although he still functions fairly well. Their are bad breathing days, their is a lot of making sure he is comfortable and you guessed it still Cleaning, Cooking, and Caring for someone along with Caring for myself.

In conclusion; When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)? I can honestly say that I have been a grown up for a number of years; yet many times never really felt like one completely. 

 

#365daysofwriting

Overwhelmed by Solitude

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Strawberry Cheesecake Bar Special in SC.

 

At this stage of Midlife and being a caregiver for a spouse with lung disease I am always Overwhelmed with Solitude. There is two specific reasons for this Overwhelming feeling.

First of all the sadness of future solitude. There are days I can not even look at couples holding hands or even pictures of friends out on dates.  I don’t say a thing, just smile. It isn’t their fault or even jealousy, it just part of facing the future of solitude. At this stage of care-giving you have a thousand secret thoughts each day. 

Second of the two is my personal Solitude, I absolutely appreciate sitting by the lake all alone with a good book or just my thoughts. The Overwhelmed part of Solitude here is the guilt. Thought of do I deserve this time in the sun by the water while my spouse sits inside on oxygen.  

Well I imagine you have come to the conclusion that each day solitude for a care-giver is overwhelming. Overwhelmed of thoughts of being alone the rest of your days or thoughts of if I don’t get to have solitude soon, I will be no good for anyone.  Are you a caregiver for a spouse? Do you struggle with overwhelmed thoughts of solitude? Feedback would be very helpful at these stages.

 

 

Overwhelming

Solitude

Full Circle of Life

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As I take a deep breath and exhale slowly while staring into the fire; It dawns on me I’ve done this before many moons ago. 

Our first apartment had a gas burning fireplace right in the center of the apartment. The apartment was small and cozy just like the Cozy Condo. Room with the fireplace was the room the young couple chose to make their bedroom. The fireplace kept her warm and cozy while he worked late at night. Each Thursday he would remind her they would go to the lake once more when he arrived in the morning. 

After sending him out on Thursday’s she would busily get the apartment cleaned up including the bed and end up making a pallet in front of the fireplace and have a suitcase sitting by the door. He never knew about the pallet because the apartment was clean and tidy when they returned. 

Now 32 years later he sleeps in a bed just on the other side of the wall and she stares into the fire wondering what he would think if he found her on a pallet in front of the fireplace.  It seems I have come full-circle considering we started in a small cozy apartment with a fireplace, took several trips to that lake and now live in a small cozy condo with a fireplace. 

It is quite possible if your reading this you are in your midlife age. Have you realized a part of you has come full circle?  Let me know. 

Realizing I Get Annoyed In Midlife

 

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Summer 2016

 

Midlife is a strange age to approach. You realize just the sort of things that can annoy the fire out of you. First of all I love to fish and be outdoors. Winter keeps us stuck indoors. Sure there are lots of chores to do and foods to cook but you are still stuck inside for days or weeks. Annoying to say the least. 

 

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Secondly it’s being so young and having a Spouse that is sick. Although I never regret any moment of being a care-giver, I do tend at times to get annoyed that there is a man in my condo 24/7 but I mostly do everything alone. There is no adult nights out, just me seeing a movie at the theater and returning to home. No trips down south just to tell the world goodbye for a couple nights. Takes so much to load the vehicles up these days.

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Third things that seems to annoy me more and more at this age is not being able to be still and meditate as when I was younger. There once was a time I could send the family on their way out into the world and sip my tea and Be Still. Life just does not seem to have that door open lately.

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Last but certainly very important is difficult people. They show up in Friends, Family, and other parts of a life. I really do thank God for showing me how not to act through some of these types of people. I would not want someone to be hurt or feel hurt the way difficult people have made me feel. 

In conclusion as you can see in the age of midlife I realize that I prefer to enjoy the outdoors instead of being stuck indoors. I truthfully get annoyed about this disease preventing us to enjoy retirement. Being Still and meditating is something I need to return into my life and difficult people are enough to make me run away. 

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Realize